I grew up in a home where my "room" was a den with only 3 walls. What would have been the 4th was the pathway to pass from one end of the house to another. One of those walls had a open window from the kitchen. Everyone else had their privacy. Apparently I didn't need that. Once I got old enough, I built a treehouse. Some of our inner children love the way you describe your inner child in that last paragraph. (Imagine warm fuzzy happy feelings behind a crooked little smile.) So much of this post describes our own inner experience. The overreaction to perceived but technically non-existent in the moment threats are embarrassing for us. And yes, you/she absolutely deserve soothing comfort at such times. We're so glad you have someone to stand with you. Even if the threat isn't now, the impact is still very much real! Thank you for sharing this, ISA!
Oh J I’m so sorry you were not given privacy or protected either! It seems a real theme.
So glad you found some peace in imagining that protection - we all need it, wish we’d got it back then. Thank you for reading and sharing your reflections, as always ❤️
My childhood home was totally open, except for my parents' bedroom (which we weren't allowed in) and the bathroom. I had recurring dreams for years about being busted in on while in the bathroom until a therapist stumbled upon it (I casually mentioned recurring dreams and they asked for more info). They interpreted it as what they called an intrusion dream. I hadn't at that point yet pieced together my mother's and my ex's abuse, but that session got the ball rolling. I'm still healing. It's a long road. I'm glad to have found your work. Thank you.
oh wow - eerily similar to our first home!! I'm sorry you had this experience, too. And also I am glad you are healing (hard, brave work), and that you're here. Thank you <3
It is so body-mind-soul draining! It helps to know we’re not alone and have very good reason for feeling exhausted…Hope we can give ourselves rest and find peace when we need it ❤️
I didn't realize how universal this experience was until I read this and Clementine's post. It makes me weep. I also grew up in a home where locks were forbidden. I also check to make sure the locks work. I'm so sorry this happened to us.
I didn’t either! It is like stumbling on the best kept secret (I think Judith Herman may have said this about incest, on the whole) - these experiences that we are led to believe are so rare as to be impossible, are actually so common as to be ‘textbook’. I have also cried tonight, for all of us, and also with the relief of being validated - this happened to me, this happened to *so many* of us and it is real.
I grew up in a home where my "room" was a den with only 3 walls. What would have been the 4th was the pathway to pass from one end of the house to another. One of those walls had a open window from the kitchen. Everyone else had their privacy. Apparently I didn't need that. Once I got old enough, I built a treehouse. Some of our inner children love the way you describe your inner child in that last paragraph. (Imagine warm fuzzy happy feelings behind a crooked little smile.) So much of this post describes our own inner experience. The overreaction to perceived but technically non-existent in the moment threats are embarrassing for us. And yes, you/she absolutely deserve soothing comfort at such times. We're so glad you have someone to stand with you. Even if the threat isn't now, the impact is still very much real! Thank you for sharing this, ISA!
Oh J I’m so sorry you were not given privacy or protected either! It seems a real theme.
So glad you found some peace in imagining that protection - we all need it, wish we’d got it back then. Thank you for reading and sharing your reflections, as always ❤️
Yes, it does seem to be a theme for many. Thank you for sharing such insightful and inspiring perspectives!
My childhood home was totally open, except for my parents' bedroom (which we weren't allowed in) and the bathroom. I had recurring dreams for years about being busted in on while in the bathroom until a therapist stumbled upon it (I casually mentioned recurring dreams and they asked for more info). They interpreted it as what they called an intrusion dream. I hadn't at that point yet pieced together my mother's and my ex's abuse, but that session got the ball rolling. I'm still healing. It's a long road. I'm glad to have found your work. Thank you.
oh wow - eerily similar to our first home!! I'm sorry you had this experience, too. And also I am glad you are healing (hard, brave work), and that you're here. Thank you <3
The PTSD symptoms you describe are very relatable. I am also exhausted by my own hyper vigilance. Thank you for sharing this
It is so body-mind-soul draining! It helps to know we’re not alone and have very good reason for feeling exhausted…Hope we can give ourselves rest and find peace when we need it ❤️
Thank you for reading!
I didn't realize how universal this experience was until I read this and Clementine's post. It makes me weep. I also grew up in a home where locks were forbidden. I also check to make sure the locks work. I'm so sorry this happened to us.
I didn’t either! It is like stumbling on the best kept secret (I think Judith Herman may have said this about incest, on the whole) - these experiences that we are led to believe are so rare as to be impossible, are actually so common as to be ‘textbook’. I have also cried tonight, for all of us, and also with the relief of being validated - this happened to me, this happened to *so many* of us and it is real.
Thanks for being here 💛